Kamis, 25 Februari 2010

MSM - My Spoiled Mum

I have the silliest mom on earth. She said that she’s the most struggling woman, but in fact she’s the most spoiled mom I’ve ever met.
She could lose her wallet in the safest public place. She could scare to death if she got lost in some place she never been there, even we around her watching her panicky alone.
She never had been far from home, independently. When we do trips, we always go to the safest place. She couldn’t imagine what kind the real wild mesmerize life and she could die in panic if she knew places I’ve ever visit.
She could lose her smile all day if she can’t get what she wants and sudden happy to the max if someone give her a chocolate in her cloudy day.
She usually forgets everything when she watches films. It’s most the Korean or American TV series. And you know what, she could spend a day stays at the couch while her kids are dying in hunger.
She loves to chat with my friends whose coming home and easily talk about everything I told to her, which most of them are SECRETS. And sure you know what happen after.

She’s the most comfie mate to chit chat. She could hear all my stories in her busiest day. She could make meals for the whole big fam while I buzzing around ask for her opinion about my clothes.
She would wake up in the middle of the night to see me when I came home and hear my daily story with her half conscious.
She would do fasting (in order to maximize the prayers) in my big days, such my final exams.
She always knows what’s been happening with me. I never share my sad stories. It’s embarrassing, anyway. But she always knows when I have the lowest term of life.
When I spent a day in crying loosing someone, when I got much problems, when I got upset, even when I hate her for a while. She never asks, she only gives her best attention, by ignoring me. Cause she knew I’ll be back chat with her when I’m done with my problems.

And even I often said that she’s so spoiled and I often lose my patience on her, I love her still.
Even I often disappoint her and just don’t care.
Even I said that I love my dad more than her, I lie. Just to make her jealous. I love em both. I love them till me willing to sacrifice myself for their happiness.

I feel so disappoint with her in latest days and I sudden think bout her, how great my mom to face her peculiar first daughter.
I thanked to God. I feel so blessed.

Jumat, 19 Februari 2010

melt my heart to stone --all over again.

1:31 am
it should be 20th in Feb, I guess.

I just had a bizarre night; don’t you think so, dear reader?
I just decided where this heart goes to. Then what’s coming after me just like a burst of shocking light that beat me on and on. Without giving me any chance to take my breath.
Ain’t blaming anyone.
I take it as a bright pencil color in my little colorful life canvas. Ain’t blame my provocative-able friend, Ain’t blame you who give away my heart back to me, Ain't blame myself, I even ain't blame my dearest fella who has the biggest laugh.

What a feel in these days just like a roller coaster. It’s fun yet scary.
What I feel tonight is.. no I don’t feel anything. 
I might be numb or jaded.
I’m now spending a night playing the same song in iTunes; Adele – melt my heart to stone.
Then I start to sing,
And I hear your words that I made up
You say my name like there could be an us
I best tidy up my head; I’m the only one in love
I’m the only one in love

its a nice song anyway..

Dear reader, don’t worry. My numb night won’t last forever. It might only a night or two.
So don’t worry.
And I won’t go to Balikpapan anyway. Im still here and im still there to ruin up your days. Just, be ready.
Whatever it would be, don’t stop lean your shoulder cause yours sooo comfie.
we're good, okay? :) 

Minggu, 14 Februari 2010

teman main yang.. begitulah.

Apa untung dan ruginya untuk membiarkan si hati memilih seseorang yang ada di sekelilingmu(singkatnya: suka sama temen)?
Untung: Bisa ngeliat dia setiap hari. Karna kan temen, disini konteksnya temen main ya, yg ketemunya intensif. Jadi ga usah nyari2 alesan buat sekedar ketemu dia. Just simply like, lets hang out! and you can enjoy your time with him, secretly. LOL
Dengan adanya ini, kau akan menghadapi hari-hari yang super menyenangkan. :))

Rugi: Karena sanking sering ketemunya, your precious time watching him are gonna fade, soon. Esensi menggebet adalah memerhatikan. Akan lebih berharga lagi kalau untuk sekedar memerhatikan, butuh usaha yg sangat besar.
Lalu jika si dia adalah orang yang ada disekelilingmu, lebih dari sekeliling malah, ada di dekatmu, maka esensi itu akan hilang perlahan. Dan meninggalkanmu dengan perasaan datar, kemudian kau akan mulai bertanya, apa kau benar-benar menyukainya atau ini hanya sekedar hormon berlebih dan perasaan yang keterlauan. :P

Bagaimana jadinya, jika kedua sisi untung rugi itu datang dan pergi secara bergantian. Membiarkanmu tertarik ke antara salah satu sisinya dan kembali terlempar ke sisi lainnya?
kau muak, lalu kembali menggelegak.
siapa yang harus disalahkan?
kamu? dia? atau rasa?

kalau kata nidji: cinta takkan pernah salah.

ya ya, memang ia tak salah, hanya saja gemar membuat masalah. 

kan bingung jadinyaa.. :(

--nanggung parah. maaf ya, ngantuk parah. lanjutnya entah kapan deh. LOL